Re-Introducing myself - Angela - and Idea on Culture of this Forum

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Re-Introducing myself - Angela - and Idea on Culture of this Forum

Post  Angela on Tue 02 Nov 2010, 9:47 am

Hi everyone. FOllowing Ivy's idea, I’ll intro myself also.

Like most, chronic pain, some success, mostly failure, always hope. I come here because I usually learn something and I don’t feel so isolated.

I’m a purchasing manager and strategic planner for a tech company and I live with one a teen son, one 20 year old college son, and my loving man of 9 years. I have two step sons and step daughter and recently a step grandbaby who is a tiny premie who I worry a lot over. With that comes my 80 year old parents nearby, boyfriends and girlfriends, my siblings, neighbours, friends and coworkers all needing my time and energy when some days I have none.

I decided on this new site because I have a significant amount of stress and responsibility in my life as is it, and I really don’t need the drama of some of the other sites. I’m hoping on this site the people who join would be a little kinder and gentler to each other.

Without a moderator, I wonder if tempered clashes can be avoided here if many people join? I was thinking about it and I believe there is a way to reduce the length and depths of outbursts.

For myself I believe in kindness because you never know what is going on with a person at a certain time. To some people kindness is thought of as weakness and certain people take a chance to slam and bash my words around to make their point and scream louder. But, I never respond to this which is actually a strength (because I’d rather blast them back and am quite good at it). My intention is to end the negativity so I stay silent.

It’s like graffiti. Someone sprays your wall and right away you just quietly cover it over with neutral paint and they won’t come back.

So, I decided, for me, I’m vowing not to try to keep the peace and be kind, but to not say anything at all. I think my two cents will not be missed. One less entry = one less mark on the wall in the first place.

Maybe what we need is a heading up top as a reminder that says something like....

Gentle your words, someone might be hurting.

I always felt like I was annoying to others in the other site. My ideas may be annoying to you too.
That’s just me, but I wouldn't say anything if I didn't care.

Angela

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Re: Re-Introducing myself - Angela - and Idea on Culture of this Forum

Post  Om on Tue 02 Nov 2010, 11:06 am

Gentle your words, someone might be hurting.

Lovely words.

I always felt like I was annoying to others in the other site. My ideas may be annoying to you too.
That’s just me, but I wouldn't say anything if I didn't care.

I never found you annoying! I always felt invisible on the other site. Like no matter what support and help I offered others it was ignored or thrown back at me as if I'd never said anything.

Good to see you here

Om
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Re: Re-Introducing myself - Angela - and Idea on Culture of this Forum

Post  Angela on Tue 02 Nov 2010, 12:15 pm

Om wrote: I always felt invisible on the other site. Like no matter what support and help I offered others it was ignored or thrown back at me as if I'd never said anything.


Om

Lets hope it is different here
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Re: Re-Introducing myself - Angela - and Idea on Culture of this Forum

Post  Admin on Tue 02 Nov 2010, 7:30 pm

Hi Angela, thanks for joining Migraine Help. I hope you don't mind that we moved your thread into the newly named intro forum. Thanks for your great ideas, we have already change up some of our wording to include them. Smile

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Re: Re-Introducing myself - Angela - and Idea on Culture of this Forum

Post  milo on Tue 02 Nov 2010, 7:46 pm

You were not invisible to me Om. I'm so happy to see you and some other Rhondonians joining. I so much miss the supportive forum that I first joined. I brag about my support forums all the time as I find they are so helpful.

It's amazing how close you can feel to people you have never met in person, and how meaningful the relationship can become by having something so crappy in common.
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Re: Re-Introducing myself - Angela - and Idea on Culture of this Forum

Post  LynelleH on Tue 02 Nov 2010, 11:55 pm

Hi, Angela
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Re: Re-Introducing myself - Angela - and Idea on Culture of this Forum

Post  Topix on Wed 03 Nov 2010, 1:41 am

Hi Angela.
Your words are always very wise. I do also hope that this site will be only for mature and intelligent people who can talk about anything, have different points of view but never offend and fight.
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Re: Re-Introducing myself - Angela - and Idea on Culture of this Forum

Post  Paradox on Wed 03 Nov 2010, 10:54 pm

So wise Angela. When the bickering started I would try not to post at all (not always successfully...at times I would get drug in) in order not to feed the beast. But, someone always needed to escalate or have the last word. In my private life I am very non confrontational. Conflict upsets me. So, why would I want to subject myself to it online?

Om, I'm sorry you felt invisible. I found you to be very level headed and valued your input.
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Re: Re-Introducing myself - Angela - and Idea on Culture of this Forum

Post  Om on Thu 04 Nov 2010, 3:30 pm

milo wrote:You were not invisible to me Om. I'm so happy to see you and some other Rhondonians joining. I so much miss the supportive forum that I first joined. I brag about my support forums all the time as I find they are so helpful.

It's amazing how close you can feel to people you have never met in person, and how meaningful the relationship can become by having something so crappy in common.

Thanks Milo! And I totally agree with the sentiment.
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