The Fabulous Migraine Underworld
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Hey everyone!

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Post  LoveGia Wed 04 May 2011, 8:26 am

Hello!

Hope everyone is doing well this spring! I recognize a lot of names, some I don't. For those who I don't, it's really nice to meet everyone Smile and for all that I do, it's great to see you again! Took a little time to get here but I'm glad I found you all again!

See you around the boards!

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Post  Angela Wed 04 May 2011, 10:02 am

Hello LG

Nice to see you surface again.

Happy Spring!
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Post  alli Wed 04 May 2011, 10:04 am

Hey Welcome!

Glad to see you over here.

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Post  LoveGia Wed 04 May 2011, 10:13 am

Happy Spring to you all as well Smile lovely to see so many familiar faces!

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Post  Paradox Wed 04 May 2011, 10:17 am

Hey LG!!!!!

Happy feet, that you're here! I've missed talking to you.

Charlotte (formerly Joan)
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Post  Sara79 Wed 04 May 2011, 10:37 am

Welcome!

I've missed your updates...how are you/DH/LO all doing?

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Post  milo Wed 04 May 2011, 10:50 am

I am so, so, sooooo happy to see you here!
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Post  LoveGia Wed 04 May 2011, 11:14 am

Hello Charlotte, Sara and Milo!

For a quick update, I cut my dosage of topamax from 200mg to 100mg after a complete medication break. I find the 100mg dose works significantly better for me all around. I am not currently taking any other medication besides the topamax. Unfortunately, finances arent there for me to have another monthly script for an abortive medication.

Steve and I have decided it would be best to separate. I have primary care of Gia but he is always visiting and seeing her. This is all very recent but we get along better each day and the situation is not too bad. Gia misses daddy but she is doing fantastic. So smart, so beautiful! She's 2 1/2 and can count 1-20!!! Brilliant little girl Smile

How are all of you doing?!? I've missed you all so very much!

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Post  Paradox Wed 04 May 2011, 11:20 am

You and hubby having been struggling for a very long time so no one can accuse you of not trying.

My mother was of the school of "for better or worse". I remember begging her to divorce my dad because I couldn't stand the fighting and anonymosity I was living with. But no, they both chose to stay together and be miserable until they died.

I find that very sad.

Good luck, Sweetie.
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Post  milo Wed 04 May 2011, 11:21 am

I'm so proud of you girl! You are such a strong young lady and making it work co-parenting with your ex husband is such a great thing to do for Gia. If she sees you two having a good relationship it will help her so much in her own future relationships.

So your migraines are doing ok with the 100mg topamax?
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Post  LoveGia Wed 04 May 2011, 12:02 pm

Thank you for the support everyone Smile

My migraines and myself are much better on 100mgs. I feel like when things got very rough for me, it was too easy for me to completely spin out of control on 200 so that was not at all a good dose for me. That was my primary reason for stopping the med for a while and restarting at a lower dose.

I had noticed when I restarted that at 100mgs I was able to reason a lot better and also, my 3-5 migraines a week dropped to 1-2 a week. Sometimes, stress makes it worse as does a toothache I am battling but I try to leave those out of the equation.

I hear a lot of times topamax can make you think differently and act differently and this is a reality for most people. It became a reality for me as well, but in a very unique way that I have not yet heard described.

As many of you know, I had a very bad traumatic experience in the last year. During that time, I was on 200mgs of topamax. I know that many people deal with these types of experiences in their own way, but unfortunately, I took it to myself to hide in my own world. I had become scary skinny, refused to take care of myself, and completely withdrew. I had not thought of suicide nor had I realized anything was wrong.

When my hair finally started falling out in clumps, maybe from the topamax or possibly from malnutrition, I chose to titrate off topamax. Suddenly, it seemed like the sun came out...but my migraines came back fiercely. I stayed off for a while but then decided to slowly titrate back with the help of family and found that I work well on 100mg. I think it's important to tell this to others because whereas yes, topamax was a horror for me...it is also a blessing as long as I am careful and responsible.

I also want to note that before my experience, I had been on 200mgs for a very long time and was successful with it. This medication can be unpredictable and it is important to involve other people in your life while on it because you cannot rely on yourself to know what is normal.

I hope this helps anyone else who may struggle with similar issues.

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Post  Guest Wed 04 May 2011, 12:35 pm

I am sure that information will be very helpful to anyone on that drug LG.
Glad you found your level.

P

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Post  milo Wed 04 May 2011, 12:50 pm

Please do update us on Gia!
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Post  kimsmom Wed 04 May 2011, 1:16 pm

Good to see you here. I remember your name but sadly I do not know your history. I am sorry to hear about your marriage. I got a divorce when my girls were 6 and 4. If I can be of any help PM me. I will do my best to help.

Welcome

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Post  Cluelesskitty Wed 04 May 2011, 3:31 pm

It's so good to see you back, LoveGia!!
I remember you well, and you delightful daughter :]

I am sorry to hear some thing didn't work out that great for you but glad to hear some did.
I myself am on Topamax 125mg daily and also experience the double sword-ness of this medication.
On one had it did reduced the HA intensity a bit, but on the other I am exhausted all the time and yes, Topamax does cause hair loss so my hair started thinning.
But I take these s/e any time over the Ms I used have.

Joanie mentioned My mother was of the school of "for better or worse" - I also agree this is archaic way of thinking.
Our children learn from us, the parents, by copying our behaviour - so what are we teaching them, what skills,
what example are we giving them
if we let them watch relationship where there is never peace, never understanding?

So kudos to you LoveGia for having guts to make such a difficult decision.
I was forced to make such once and I know how much it hurts, how much anxiety and difficulty and sorrow it brings
but at the same time I've discovered I can do it! And obviously, so can you!

Risa


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Post  Paradox Wed 04 May 2011, 4:06 pm

LG,

I had the very same thing happen to me on topamax. I went psychotic and instead of being taken off of it was left on and misdiagnosed as bipolar and put on antipyshcotics. For several years! After two years I was unrecognizable, drawn, gray skin, flat expression, I even got a frozen shoulder from hugging myself all the time. Three months of therapy for that and five days in a locked psyche ward to come off all the meds cold turkey.

While topamax is a miracle drug for some but please, all, be aware that it can turn in to a complete nightmare and others around need to help you get help. My hubby didn't, he just felt that since the Drs were prescribing the drugs that they knew what they were doing. It was my work that stepped in.

Sorry LG to hi-Jack the thread, but it is a cautionary tale. You were aware of my story yet you were so clouded you couldn't put it together for yourself. I had one friend go on topamax and Ritalin and argue with me that it had nothing to do with her sudden extreme weight loss! Wow, really? But her reasoning was gone.

Any way...happy, happy, happy our dear LG is back!!!!! cheers
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