Terrible day, trying not to cry

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Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  Paradox on Wed 08 Jun 2011, 3:43 pm

One of those days where I HATE being in charge at work. Yesterday I had to let an employee know that something she was doing was not acceptable. Wrote it out, read it to her ( with a witness) she thanked me. I thought things were good.

Til this morning. She wasn't supposed to be there, she had scheduled a day off, but she came in anyway. Long story short, I should have fired her. With how insubordinate she was and the fact that she is a "at will" employee, I should have. But she only has six months until her retirement kicks in and I can't see her losing part of her pension because of a REALLY bad day. So I suspended her. Let her cool down a few days and see if she still wants to talk herself in to being fired.

So that how the day started.

It ended with my sister hanging up the phone on me. We are 51 and 54 and she has never done that. We are not close, never have been but we try to be cordial. I was complaining about one of her co-workers being rude to my husband and I, she as always, without being there, took the co-workers side, and then DISCUSSED IT WITH THE COWORKER. I said that it would be nice to just be able to have a conversation with my sister without getting rules and regulations thrown at me. Click.

Oh well... And isn't that sad that that's how I feel? Oh well. No parents, no other siblings, but for the longest time her favorite phrase to me is "What? (evil grin) I'm just playing devils advocate". No, you're just politely telling me you think I'm full of it. I'm tired of being wrong, I'm tired of not being able to express an opinion, and now I'm tired of not being allowed to talk at all. When I was in my thirties she actually yelled at me at what candidate I was voting for in a local election. I'm not a yeller, conflict upsets me. I guess she knows this. Hmmm...

Oh well.............. Sad
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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  Cluelesskitty on Wed 08 Jun 2011, 5:14 pm

Oh gosh sweetie sounds like really bad, miserable day.

Here's some love for you!!




hugs,
Risa

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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  Enigma on Wed 08 Jun 2011, 5:36 pm



Oh Risa

That is lovely.
Hugs to you Charlotte.


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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  30yrsofheadache on Wed 08 Jun 2011, 5:57 pm

That does sound like a very bad day! Mad Hope tomorrow is better! We are all "sisters" here, so you do have some that care!
Hugs,
Cindy

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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  30yrsofheadache on Wed 08 Jun 2011, 5:59 pm

Risa, That is the cutest thing I've ever seen! Well except for the video of the Momma kitty hugging her baby. Did you see that?
Cindy cat cat

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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  Cluelesskitty on Wed 08 Jun 2011, 6:10 pm

sure Smile

for you Charlotte:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw4KVoEVcr0

Risa

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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  Paradox on Wed 08 Jun 2011, 6:36 pm

Thank you...you guys are my true family.

You know, since I found Rondas and now FabMU I don't think I've felt alone. I guess because I'm not.

I love you I love you I love you
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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  milo on Wed 08 Jun 2011, 6:58 pm

Lord woman...not comparing notes...my day(s) can give you a run...but the whole point is to let you know that I understand where you are at and hope that tomorrow is much better!!!!

Sending you the love!

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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  kimsmom on Wed 08 Jun 2011, 7:38 pm

I am here with you. My brother and his wife are something else. He is all I have too. Funny, but all I ever wanted was a nice sister in law since I did not get a sister. All I got was a control freak with a smart mouth.

I feel for you. I am sure you wanted a close relationship with your sister too at one time.

Glad you have your sons and a great husband.

you have my thoughts!

kimsmom
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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  Paradox on Wed 08 Jun 2011, 10:12 pm

Yes, KM, I see sisters out shopping together, having lunch, and I would so love to have that connection.

My dad was an alcoholic and at various times in our lives we had to go in to family therapy with him. during his last round when we were in our late 30s she made a comment that hurt me t the quick, She said "I moved away from our hometown to get away and I'll be damned if everyone followed me".

And she was right, I was down visiting and put in a job application and got the job. At no time did she indicate that she didnt want me here. Then of course with both their kids here, my folks were here to visit quite a bit.

And to find out 20 years later that she resented that I lived by her...Ouch.

But yes, I do have an amazing hubby and sons. Hubby is the only reason I stayed in this neck of the woods, He has a huge family here plus an identical twin. And they are close. Ones not moving without the other. So not only do I have my crappy sibling relationship, I get to see it side by side to the closest there is! Bang head on wall!!!!! Mad
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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  alli on Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:32 am

You can chose your friends but you can't chose your family... However, you can ignore them when they are being total a-holes.

I get along fine with 3 of my sibs, but my youngest sister is a PITA. I haven't spoken to her in three years and unless she grows a brain and some compassion, that won't change.

Hang in there and know that your friends will be your surrogate family.

Hugs

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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  steph on Tue 14 Jun 2011, 12:25 pm

My sister and I are night and Day. My hubby's sister and he are night and day. In fact our sisters are a lot alike, but they both complain about eachother being self-absorbed and not-so-great parents!!! That is the part that makes me laugh! If I mention something about my sister to his sister, she can't believe it! and vise versa, BUT their behavior is the same! It seems to me that they just don't see what they themselves are doing!!!

I go for long periods of my sister being mad at me and not talking to me. This used to bother me because of my neices and nephew, but I have to get over that. It is easier now that they are old enough to have cell phones, but we rarely see them. She won't ever change, because she is never willing to admit that she just might be wrong. I just ignore it.

On the other hand,I will not tolerate her being rude, to me or my mother. I am more than willing to go long periods of time without her in my life, to avoid being her doormat. If I wouldn't let a stranger treat me that way, I won't let her! We have come to realize that family is what you make it, or rather WHO you make it. We have more non-blood related family in out lives than blood relatives.

Good luck. Family crap can add so much stress! Not everyone gets along, but geez, I would like to pass on the drama!!! LOL
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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  Paradox on Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:01 pm

A dear friend was very profound to me about it and it really opened my eyes. She said to me : " What does your sister want from you? NOTHING. What does your sister need from you? NOTHING. All you are to her is a responsibility."

And it was so true. My sister had a great deal of responsibility for me starting at a very young age. And I don't think she ever got past that to where we can be friends.

Sad.
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Re: Terrible day, trying not to cry

Post  Cluelesskitty on Wed 15 Jun 2011, 12:57 am

I am so sorry Charlotte.

It's the exact same for me Sad

LOTS of hugs

Risa

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