Another sad day

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Another sad day

Post  30yrsofheadache on Mon 12 Mar 2012, 5:15 pm

Yesterday we found out my husbands sister's son took his own life. So sad, he was the same age as my older daughter. He had had some minor mood problems, but it was totally unexpected. His Mom found him and of course, is devastated. A sweet, funny young man.. There will be a memorial service in Florida on Friday.

I told my husband i wanted to go, even with all we have going on with the house and my friend. Then, I got my P. today (sorry men). My migraines go with my cycles and always get worse as the 7-10 days go on. By the end of the week, it will be about a 6-9. I will need at least one dose of my "lollipop" , probably 2.

I feel so bad having to let my husband down. He says he understands, but I dont think he really does. I know his family wont. I dont want to go and be ill and draw attention away from the family. For me, this is the worst part of migraines....
Cindy

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Re: Another sad day

Post  milo on Mon 12 Mar 2012, 6:09 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have been personally touched by suicide more then once and am here for you. I'll PM you. Going or not going is a very hard choice. I wish you strength to make the decision that is best. ((((hugs))))
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Re: Another sad day

Post  Cluelesskitty on Tue 13 Mar 2012, 12:28 am

Cindy, I have no words to express the devastation I feel at this horrific news :[

How sad, how tragic, how crushing a death :[
especially for us parents :[
I am so terribly sorry for both of your families, Cindy.
Please accept my deepest, most empathic condolences.

Cindy, please do not worry about any "what if", "should you", "perhaps", - or whatever.
In the moments like this, you just go ahead do what your heart dictate you.

I am so, so sorry Cindy Sad

Lots of love and hugs

Risa



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Re: Another sad day

Post  Paradox on Tue 13 Mar 2012, 6:32 am

Cindy, I'm so sorry. So many people don't understand. When I had one at my daughter in laws bachorlette party, her mother said it was because I wanted attention on me. So far from the truth.

Will the Dr given you an "extra" script given the tragic circumstances so you could go?

Sending you hugs.
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Re: Another sad day

Post  02R96 on Tue 13 Mar 2012, 7:27 am

That is terrible news. I don't think anyone can truly understand the pain and guilt his parents must be going through. My deepest condolences...
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Re: Another sad day

Post  tecky on Tue 13 Mar 2012, 7:41 am

Cindy, I'm so sorry for your family's loss. It's difficult to lost someone no matter the circumstances, but I can understand that losing a child is life's worst loss.

I agree with Charlotte....see if your doctor will give you something so that you will be able to be present. My doctor was understanding the last 2 weeks my mother's life and I wanted to be there no matter what. They allowed meds that they otherwise limit for that limited time frame. It's worth checking in to.

My deepest sympathy at this time of loss in your family. I love you
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Re: Another sad day

Post  VickiG on Tue 13 Mar 2012, 8:29 am

I am so sorry that this has happened. I think it may be good for all of us who have ever considered suicide as an escape from the pain to see just what it does to those left behind. The only reason I am alive today is because I know how much it would destroy my mother, so I have avoided taking that way out. I do sympathize with your loss and hope your doctor will give you extra meds. I had to miss my brother's wedding because of pain related to my migraine, so I can get some sense of how you feel, although I was blessed to have family who (mostly) understand. Hang in there!
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Re: Another sad day

Post  Ruth on Tue 13 Mar 2012, 8:39 am

My deepest condolences to the family, how very sad.

I agree with the others Cindy, do what you feel is best and right for you.

{{{{Hugs}}}}

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Re: Another sad day

Post  dcook60 on Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:27 am

indeed, horrifically sad. there is no way to get over something like this, only to get through it. with the help of family, friends and kind doctors, you will make it, cindy. sending love, dianne
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Re: Another sad day

Post  30yrsofheadache on Tue 13 Mar 2012, 5:32 pm

Thanks so much everyone for your encouragement. I can feel the love coming through my computer! I have decided it is not in anyone's best interest for me to go. My daughter is going in my place, bless her heart. She is a super wonderful girl. I can get unlimited meds, but still need to be in a dark room curled up in bed!

There is very little chance of it not happening. On the plus side, we are supposed to be getting a contract offer on our house in the next day or so. we could really use some good news! Also, my husband is being very understanding and is going to spin the story in my favor, so no one thinks I dont care. I still will be sorry not to be there for my Sister-in -law and mother-in Law as well as my husband. It is all so hard for everyone.
Hugs,
Cindy

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Re: Another sad day

Post  Cluelesskitty on Wed 14 Mar 2012, 12:24 am

Absolutely, you do what you need to do, Cindy.
Migraines are beyond our control, yours as well, and sometimes they happen on most unfortunate of days.
There is nothing we can do about it. Nobody can. I am sure if you will be able, you'll go.

Again, my sincerest condolences for your husband's sister family and yours, Cindy.


Risa

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Re: Another sad day

Post  crt on Wed 14 Mar 2012, 12:09 pm

Devastating news. I'm so sorry! Thinking of you.

Chris

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Re: Another sad day

Post  30yrsofheadache on Wed 14 Mar 2012, 5:55 pm

Thanks, Risa and Chris. You guys are the best!
Hugs,
Cindy

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Re: Another sad day

Post  Porsche Fan on Wed 14 Mar 2012, 11:44 pm

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Any support you can lend is very positive.

-pf
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Re: Another sad day

Post  30yrsofheadache on Fri 16 Mar 2012, 3:19 am

Thanks, PF. I will be calling my SIL soon. That is the best I can do right now. I am glad I didnt plan to go. Yesterday was a bad migraine day. Even with the lollipop it didnt get below a 5 all day. Today is still not good, but better than yesterday. We did get a contract on the house.

It was low, so we countered and they are sending a new offer. In the meantime, we have another couple that really wants to see the house tomorrow and possibly write an immediate contract! Also, we have to go out and find a house for ourselves, very soon. affraid
Hugs,
Cindy

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Re: Another sad day

Post  Cluelesskitty on Fri 16 Mar 2012, 4:01 pm

Good luck on the house sale, Cindy. Fingers crossed that surely the better offer wins!

I am so sorry the migraine hit after all. It just shows how well we know our bodies, our disease.
I am very sorry you weren't able to attend the funeral after all.
But like I've said, it's a disease we have no control over, period.

While you are talking to your SiL, please try to keep in mind you have my absolute support
in these involuntary absences due to M matter.

And I can't tell you enough how very sorry I am for both of your families loss, Cindy.

Gentle hugs

Risa


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Re: Another sad day

Post  Greeneyes on Tue 20 Mar 2012, 3:34 am

Oh no..dearest Cindy..I'm so very sorry for your family. May I do anything for you? Love you and sending you a big hug I love you greeneyes

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Re: Another sad day

Post  30yrsofheadache on Tue 20 Mar 2012, 3:48 am

Thanks, Greeneyes! We are gradually getting back to normal.My husband and daughter said there was a lot more going on in our nephew's life than we knew about. His Dad didnt even show up for the funeral!

We do have a contract on our house now. It gets an inspection tomorrow. We also put a contract on a new house, I so hope we will get it. It wasnt in our plans to buy a newly built house, but it just worked out that way.

My friend is having surgery next week. I am trying to help her get ready for that. My head is not happy and I am having a flare up of Lyme due to doing too much. Just taking one day at a time.
Hugs,
Cindy

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Re: Another sad day

Post  Greeneyes on Tue 20 Mar 2012, 4:07 am

<3 <3..I'm lifting you up in prayer..I love you!! I love you

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Re: Another sad day

Post  kimsmom on Tue 20 Mar 2012, 9:40 pm

Cindy, I am so sorry for your familys loss. I am just seeing this now. Please do not feel bad about not going due to migraine. We here understand just how bad our heads misbehave when we need them to behave.

One thing about your sister in law is she will need you and others in the months ahead. People tend to be around in the beginning and then go back to their normal lives and the person who just lost a loved one slowly greives alone. Touch base with her often on the phone if you can and plan a visit. I am sure a planned visit soon will help her in the long run.

Again my deepest sympathys...

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