Unbelievable!

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Unbelievable!

Post  KimbaK on Tue 30 Jul 2013, 7:32 pm

Ok, so I made the effort to get dressed nicely and run errands today. I went into a shop to pick up some things where the owner always flirts with me. I flirted back, thinking no ring, no pictures, etc...

In the age of Facebook, no one can keep a secret, thank goodness. He's totally married. I don't get it. Why do people do things like that? Every single time I consider making an effort to start meeting people and/or dating, this happens. I don't want anything to do with married men. I absolutely refuse to even look at married men.

I don't even want to try anymore. If that means I have to be single so be it. I just don't want to teach my daughter that its normally to be such a shut-in. I don't have many friends anymore and I haven't dated in years. I've been happy. I should just know better.

OK end of rant, but damn!!! Enough already!!!
Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad 

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Re: Unbelievable!

Post  milo on Wed 31 Jul 2013, 6:56 pm

That is super annoying for sure! It makes me sad when people in committed relationships seek out trouble. It's great that you are happy single, and I agree that it is a double edged sword as far as setting an example for kids. Part of you wants to force yourself out to meet people to show that this is a good thing, and the other part wants to show the world that it is ok to be single, independent and happy! Tough for sure.
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Re: Unbelievable!

Post  30yrsofheadache on Sun 04 Aug 2013, 5:31 am

Creepy! I feel for you. I think if something happened to my husband I would become a Cat Lady:cat: 
Hugs,
Cindy

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Re: Unbelievable!

Post  Cluelesskitty on Mon 05 Aug 2013, 4:01 pm

Oh gosh, no!!! just when you started coming out of your shell, a first guy happens to be a jerk!!!

I hope this won't put you off dating, Kim, because REALLY not every guy  is like that - married or not.
I know because I have my married and one or two single male friends, and can vouch for them.



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Dating phobia...

Post  KimbaK on Wed 07 Aug 2013, 5:31 pm

Worrying about marital status is just one of many dating phobias....I worry about child molesters, domestic abusers, etc... I don't know if I can trust my own judgment if I can't even spot a married guy.

I don't want to be a bad role model either. My single mother friends from before I had my daughter both ended up with pregnant teenage daughters.

I'm trying Christian Mingle. I wouldn't mind meeting a good man, but its harder to feel interested in dating when I worry so much.


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Re: Unbelievable!

Post  Cluelesskitty on Fri 09 Aug 2013, 3:47 pm

Do try it, it seem like a good idea.

And, Kimba, you can't spot a married guy - they make sure of that! so, how could you, ever.

As for the child abusers etc - yes, I remember when my own child was little I was wondering about the very same.

It is a valid issue for women nowadays. I suppose you need to be continually vigilant on this. First of all you won't let them see your child until
you are  sure "this is it", that for starters. Second, try to find reliable sources like police sites, child protection services etc sites that will give you
helpful ideas, suggestions how to spot such monsters.

At the very least, imo is perfectly acceptable to do a police/criminal/detective background check on a person you are going to be with.
I would understand if someone checked me out.. It is not foolproof, though. Still worth while, though.

It IS a dangerous world nowadays for a single woman.

And remember - never EVER give or LOAN guy a money if he asks, whimper or beg for it. NEVER - EVER.
If you have it, so CAN he.

Risa

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Re: Unbelievable!

Post  milo on Fri 09 Aug 2013, 7:12 pm

Hiya, I totally want to encourage you to try out Internet dating, and christianmingle may be able to provide you a bit of a false sense of security. I mean, if I were a creepy kinda guy I think I would totally hide myself at exactly that type of site because that is where I would be able to find the most trusting, kind women.

Absolutely try online dating.....but please, please, please, don't think that a specific type of site will help filter out the creeps. I personally would actually go to a church singles group long before I'd try a Christian dating site. I met the person I've been married to for almost seven years online....so I believe it's an awesome way to meet someone, but you need to be careful no matter which way you meet people.

And clueless is right.....keep any info about being a mom very private until after you have a sense of trust. Even online names can trigger creeps...like....cutesinglemom or similar.

Definitely start thinking about when you would consider would be the appropriate time to introduce someone you are dating to your kid(s). Talk to your friends etc and research it. Dating when you have kids holds a whole other set of rules. It's all fun, but you just need to make sure you identify the rules for yourself and your family in advance. Smile

Have fun and be safe!!!!!
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Thanks!

Post  KimbaK on Fri 09 Aug 2013, 9:34 pm

Thanks for all the feedback. I know I can't live my life allowing my fears to be in charge. Somedays are just really frustrating. If I hadn't paid for Christian Mingle membership, I think I'd call it quits. I need to get my head in the game. I'm going to put another post in in the other forum about today's pain clinic appt.

Kim

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Re: Unbelievable!

Post  Cluelesskitty on Fri 09 Aug 2013, 11:49 pm

Just don't go from one extreme to the other Kim Smile
Do give CM a try. You do have a good head on your shoulders a proof of which is in all your posts - most of all,
you anticipate a bad outcome, meaning you certainly do not go into it  blind folded.

Just take it easy, look, our Vicky just got happily married after many tries from dating thru eHarmony if I am not mistaken.

Good luck to you, sweetie.

Risa

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Re: Unbelievable!

Post  7777Trinity on Sun 18 Aug 2013, 6:22 pm

Well, I chose an alternate route and met my husband that way. If you are a believer in Jesus, there is a internet site or was one, called BigChurch.com  

I met my husband on that and we will be celebrating our 8th Anniversary on Sept 2nd :)It's been a pretty good journey :)Of course you have to check the person of interest out pretty well, but chances are they might be okay!

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Re: Unbelievable!

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