HOw to survive a bear attack...this made me giggle

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HOw to survive a bear attack...this made me giggle

Post  Paradox on Thu 24 Mar 2011, 5:54 pm

I guess according to #1 under Polar Bears you're just SOL. affraid I would have to remember my mantra "do not act like a seal, do not act like a seal"

Good info, but the way it was written cracked me up as did the claymation.

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Re: HOw to survive a bear attack...this made me giggle

Post  Cluelesskitty on Fri 25 Mar 2011, 4:45 pm

It is very funny Smile

For example just this very sentence made me ROTFLMAO:
since we can't convey our peaceful intentions to bears, it's generally safer to just stay away.

it's generally safer to just stay away
- DUH!!

[i]If you see a bear that doesn't see you, don't disturb it

yeah, like my mischievous nature in me itches to suddenly jump up from behind him and scream "BOOOOO!!"

Bears are also sometimes lured by dogs, so it may be wise to leave pets at home.
Ooops - now that's serious.
REALLY? I always thought a good lab sized dog is what helped to stave off the bears, even
occasionally save a human's life?
who didn't heard of a brave dog risking his life like that, successfully chasing off even a cougar?

If you do meet a grizzly, stand tall, stay calm and slowly reach for your bear spray.
try not to poop right away, either...

Polar bears -
but if it approaches, stand up straight, speak loudly and act like it should be scared of you
like, "do you know who I am?!"

Don't give up. Unfortunately, neither playing dead nor fighting back works as well against polar bears as against their smaller relatives.........and steer clear of those big, swinging paws. A single strike can kill a person

But don't give up!
there always can be a miracle, like a sudden thunderbolt striking a one-ton polar bear at the very moment it swings the big bad paw in the deathly blow against you... well, if that doesn't happen, (darn!) you can always pummel its nose with your puny human fists for a short while.
How very encouraging Smile

I knew about sloth and panda bear of course, but not quite about spectacled and sun bear - how interesting!

the controversial practice of milking their bile.
I've heard of that. this is sickening, as they do this to LIVE, immobilized animal, causing it indescribable agony
and slow death in continuous torture.
There should be death sentences for that!

BTW "ursine violence" - dunno why, but I think it could be a great name for a music band...

All in all very informative article, Charlotte, thanks, and indeed too funny!


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