A widow, two brothers, one dies.....

Here's scenario...

two close brothers, one married one doesn't, one of them dies while one of the children is in elementary school,
the other very young adult.

The widow likes the brother, he is a good man, and he likes her.

Do you think it would be sick if they married just because he is the brother of the dearly departed one ?
I thought it would be okay, while my friend says it's sick and not good for the children - for them he was an uncle
and should remain so.
Turning suddenly from the first uncle to the stepfather would be confusing and again, sick for them.

I am already confused. Am I wrong thinking it's not so bad?

Keep in mind, please, what my username is!

Risa

I think generations ago it was tradition..........at least for my Russian ancestors. I had a great uncle whose wife passed away when their children were young and he then married one of her sisters...................not uncommon at all when extended families were closer.

I'm not seeing a huge problem here. Is it weird that I'm not?

I can't think of anything that would be healthier for the kids. Who would love them more, a new man with no emotional ties to them, or their uncle who has probably loved them from birth?

I've pondered this, but because I am married to an identical twin. If something happened to hubby I think it would be very natural for me to turn to the person that has his sweet personality, his good looks. But, I have also thought that I would probably eventually have to move. I live in a small town and run into hubbies twin quite a bit.

I'm sure it would be quite difficult to glance up at the grocery store and see "hubby" and for that briefest second feel the joy that he really isn't gone. And then grieve all over again when I remembered he was. That still happens with my Mom who has been gone for years. I'll have a wonderful dream about her and wake up happy and content until I realize she is still dead.

Anyway, back to the question...no, I see nothing wrong with it at all. They know each other, know their history, know the good and bad about the "step kids", know each others faults and accept them. I think it would be ideal, not in the least bit incestuous.