I love my family but...

I've had migraines for oh I don't know, 26 years. My family has been there all this time. I've been "officially" diagnosed with migraines by multiple doctors.

In the last 2 weeks, both my mother and my sister have insisted that "there has to be something else. Nobody has migraines all the time."

I'm truly grateful for all the love and support, but I'm so tired of hearing this. I know they want to help me and God knows, I would really love it if there was a miracle cure. I just don't understand why they keep beating this poor dead horse.

Anybody have any ideas on how I can help them understand this is the end of the road? Migraines are diagnosed by ruling out other issues. There is no test that definitively identifies migraine. There are common symptoms, treatments, etc...

Oh my gosh, Kim, you have endless patience!
My patience run out after, I dunno 10 or 15 years after having M and at one point I started swearing.
yeah, just swearing because, exactly, how many times can you beat a dead horse?



What is to understand here?

I would print out an easy to read article about migraines, a list of tests I had done in the past for other stuff
that may cause M to exclude it,
and told them if you want to look for "something else", go ahead and find it, sure.
I'll be waiting.

sheesh!! I am so sorry, Kim!

Risa

That really does suck. I'm not sure why they choose now to start in on it.


Hang in there and stay strong!

Risa, your emoticon is too funny!

I hear ya... 38 years later, my mother still thinks something is going to change. Add in the other neurological stuff and it's not just the migraines I get it for it is the nerve pain. No matter how many times I tell her TN and PN are incurable and progressive, I am supposed to believe that they will magically go away.

And since everything must be related, I am supposed to find the underlying problem and fix that.

It doesn't matter at this time if everything is related.... the damage is done and the only thing I can do is live with it and get through life as best I can. I get so tired of explaining that some things can't be cured. The only thing I can do is try to keep the pain bearable.

I know it comes from love and a very strong desire for me to be better.. But reality has other ideas. I don't know if we can convince our families otherwise. Maybe if they read some of our posts they will see that there are a LOT of us who really do get that many migraines.

I am sure these family members all just want us to get better, but it is frustrating to be made to feel guilt or defensive on top of already feeling in pain.

I think what they need is an active way to channel their frustration and well wishing. Is there some sort of foundation or group that promotes research for a cure for migraines? That would be a productive way to channel their energies.

for a long time, I, myself beat the dead horse! I love the emoticon!!! i just kept searching for something to explain all of this, trying to find a cure or a "real" diagnosis that OTHER people would accept. Eventually I just had to push my denial of a migraine diagnosis aside and accept it. Often times people do not accept what they don't understand. If they can't wrap THEIR brain around it, it can't be possible.

Many times the effort comes from a desire to want us to be better. Thinking that WE have given up. That is so damn annoying. I think to myself:"do you think i want this to continue? If there was any other thing, or any other way, don't you think I would try it?" You begin to feel like you are second guessed, not believed and it just leaves a huge chunk of resentment towards those people in your heart.

At first I would think about the conversation, I would dwell on it and wonder if there was something more...but there isn't. Not for me, at this point. Now I just smile, explain it and when I am done with the conversation, change the subject. I get tired of my Migraines being the focus of conversation. While I do have them very badly, there is still more to me than my pain, or treatment, or medication. I sometimes have to remind myself of that too!! Good Luck. You have a vast amount of patience and while it is grating, at this point I really doubt they will change.

I simply don't discuss them with my sister. Nor any other health issues. Her theory has always been since I was the youngest I was "babied" too much by our mother.

She claims to get migraines and tells me all I have to do it take a couple shots of tequila (yup, I'm sure that will help the vomiting )

So, we talk about the weather because I refuse to be put down by her anymore.

Charlotte

One of my friends started getting migraines herself. But just started, and she is being helped with Imitrex and anyway
her M are different than mine, she's different.
She is almost 15 years younger to being with, and she is a bundle of nervous energy. And she has temper. Bad temper.
In fact I suspect she might be bi-polar, seriously, and more.

So once she is like "how can you live like that for so long" and defends me from others "do you what's like to be in this pain?"
other times she 's like "she should get off the sofa and clean this mess". Go figure...

Risa