Steph/Stephgood...

.. are you okay, kiddo?

I haven't see you in quite a while anywhere.
I hope you and your child are okay.
Please drop a line how are you doing, sweetie.

Does anybody know how Steph is doing as the last time she was here was April 25th or 26th
and something is bugging me about sweet Steph sudden disappearance..

Risa

I just saw your post Risa and I sent Steph an email. I heard from her last on the 16th of May. I am sure she will touch base once she gets some time.

It was nice of you to think of her. Both you and Milo are doing a great job. Thank you both for this site!

kimsmom

Thanks Kim. I would appreciate that very much. She disappeared rather suddenly, that's why I am worried.
Otherwise I understand that people might get simply bored, or busy, for example, with forums.
but that happens rather gradually.

Please sent Steph our regards!

Risa

No I am alive and kicking! LOL I have been browsing the site, but probably not logging in or commenting. I have had so much going on that I haven't been able to find much time, AND THEN my computer is acting up as well. My Hubby lost his job two days later was my kid's 2nd birthday! Then the hubby monopolized the computer for several days, job hunting and such. Well it worked. He found a job, and starts on June 6th. The job is in his field and has better benefits, though the hours are crappy, at least for now.

My car took a crap, and then was fixes, and took another one! It is fixed again, the part to fix it was bad!!! I lost my insurance June 1st, and have Botox June 2nd! Thankfully I have Medicare from disability. Also, I get better insurance a month from June 6th, so I am hoping nothing much happens until then!!!!

I have been under a ton of stress, and the weather here has been so up and down. We might go 24 hours without rain today! We have had hail the size of golf balls and tornado watches on and off for days. It has been crappy around here!

I am chugging along though. I just haven't been able to get on for very long, or accompllish anything significant. Thank you so much for worrying about me though!!! It really touches me that I was missed! I do have friends!!!!!

You bet you was missed!
It's terrific to see you back alive indeed!

It's this sweet face on the right in your profile that bore her sweet serious eyes straight into my heart :]

See, I had a hunch something was going on, glad whatever went amiss seems to straighten itself out to be
even better than before, maybe except for the hubby working hrs.
Fingers crossed, that's the end of excitement for now for you guys!

Welcome back, Stephmom !


Risa

Phew....I was getting worried...I would see it get further and further down the list and get more worried.

Sounds like you have been through the wringer. It looks like it is going to rain here again too. Well, at least we had one day of no rain.

So happy to see you. Take care.

Yeah, I go to botox tomorrow. Not sure how much that will cost me since I only have the medicare right now, BUT I think that it will be covered. There is NO WAY I could go a month without it. I tried that when I was pregnant, and it wasn't pretty. Also I had to find out how much my med will cost without prescription ins. It is just gonna be $20, which is a lot, BUT I am ok with that, at least it isn't $200. I would not get it if it were!

Not only do I have the job-less, job-search, start new job stress, I also do our neighborhood garage sale. It is only the 2nd year, but it was expected this year! Well I have crap to get rid of all right, but with my crazy life it is just adding more. Problem is that the notices went out the weekend before my hubby was fired!! UGH. So yes, botox got moved up, but the garage sales are the next two days! Then he starts on Monday!

Not sure what to do about his crappy hours either. Next week will be orientation and training on days. After that the shift he was hired for was 6pm-6:10am. It is a 40 minute commute each way. He will leave about 5pm and get home about 7am. Not much time to sleep and relax and eat. Also, with my headaches I really am used to having his help in the morning, especially if I dont feel well.

I am nervous. At his other job, if he needed to come home he could. He had been there long enough to accrue sick time and vacation. He was also the supervisor, so really he could just leave without penalty. I don't think he had to once since the baby was born, BUT the first year and a half, his mom lived across town, so I had that if I needed it, and a couple of times I did. Now I am on my own-literally. He will have 3 days at work one week, and 4 the next. I guess I have to plan my big migraines around his schedule for a while!! LOL I am really nervous though.

I need to take a minute, and calm down and breathe. I know what to do to deal with this, I just have to get through the next few days and re-evaluate my 'schedule'. It is a big change of pace around here, and with my migraines I can sometimes fear that. I don't think that helps much either. Eventually it will work itself out. UGH I am just tired of being so up and down and off the map, and then i am on, and then off again. thanks for listening. I am usually much more grounded than this!!!!!!

I think you sound pretty put together for someone who is going through as much as you are! How old is your baby? Will it be hard to keep things quiet when hubby sleeps?

When my kids were younger hubby and I worked opposite shifts...it saved on babysitters...but I was the one stuck on midnights. I would have loved to work 3 12's. Maybe he'll like it? Finger crossed??

I have to track hubby down at work sometimes to give me my toradol injection. I'm out of luck when he's out of town.

Do you individually mark things for the sale or do it by tables? It's a lot of work but you can make a lot of $$ too.

Me, too, I think you sound exceptionally grounded for the person having her life turned upside down..

Stephmom, have you ever thought of hiring local teenagers to help you with your child while you are at home,
with migraine?
I did that, and it was enormous help because they played with the kid, making it busy
while I was "dying" on the couch in peace.
And they charge a lot less than the adult, and they are usually available anytime.

You sound so well organized, I trust you will find the way out of anything!
As for the sale - maybe for a trinket or two, also hire a teen to help you carry and put up everything?
meantime we all be keeping our fingers crossed for you so no migraines will lurk around the corner!

Risa

ps I would love to see some piccies of your sweet Stephie if that's OK with you!!!!

Well... I looked through all the pics I have taken in the last year, and NONE of them are of me! I must have been the one taking all of them! I did post a new one of Maximus, but I didn't want to put one of me from well, at least a year ago! Ha! I couldn't believe it! I am in them, a random arm or something, but I will have to work on that!!!

The sale went well, Matt did most of the work, and I didn't start feeling too sore from the Botox until today. It has been better since the Neuro and I have out little reminder to eachother. "Same amount, less volume", is what I am supposed to tell the nurse when they get me first and do their little triage. We actually increased the dosage on the Botox in hopes it will last longer. Not sure on that we will see!

I would love to have a teenager around here to use, and I think I may have one in mind. We are just a one income family really, and for now extras are out. I moved here almost 10 years ago, and barely know anyone in town. I must add here, that I live in po-dunk Ohio. Let me tell you, these people around here are not the most savory sort. (We saw it all at the garage sale!! LOL) It is hard for me to make A friend here, and even harder for me to trust ANYONE I have met with Maximus.

I think in an emergency my direct neighbors would be more than willing to help me out, but I try not to ask. It is just the way I am, and Matt is the same way. We don't ask our parents for help, and it is rare that we ask them to babysit. In fact, I think that is one of the reasons his mom moved. She lived across town, now she is an hour and a half away. She used the excuse that his unmarried sister (who has an 8year old and no medical issues) needed her help more than we did. Yeah, she needs a sitter to go to the bar every weekend! I think she expected that when we had a baby she could just do what she wanted to with him. Any time she asked for him to come or stay over we let him, but we weren't constantly asking her. Dunno.

She did tell me the other day that if we had another baby she would move back to help us... ???? I guess one isn't enough??? Oh well. I don't really care. I don't like being in THIS town, with no family, or real friends, it isn't my hometown and we bought here almost 10 years ago, when real estate was CHEAP and figured we would stay a few years and build equity and move on. Well, 6 mos after buying the house, I got the migraines. Real life sometimes gets in the way of our plans. So here we still are...and slowly working on this place. Since I have to live here I might as well make it home!! LOL

Yeah, me too, I hardly am in any of the piccies as I too usually am the one who takes them not who is in them
We mommies, eh?

Steph, when my daughter was very little even the 12 years old were of enormous help because they liked to play with toys
and they always always needed the money, lol, so they were usually available, and you pay them half the price.
So you may look into that. It worked great for me.

Please, please don't be too proud to reach out for help.
As you can see, it may turn around and bite you in the butt, lol unexpectedly,
there is no shame in needing help if you really need it and you sweetheart really do.
I had a light bulb moment one day when I realized my neighbours who are perfectly healthy let their kid stay home
on Monday from school if they partied too long the night before,
whereas I forced myself out of bed with 8-9 M to take my kid to school.

I said to myself, wait a minute, sumthing not right.... here I am driving in agony, with a puke bucket by my side while
perfectly healthy, able people have not got an ounce of qualms about their child missing school because
they drunk too much and wanted to sleep in???
And ever since when I felt really really bad and couldn't find anybody for carpool or other help I let her stay
without any guilt anymore.

And so can you ask for help more often because what you have is not your fault, is legitimate and you need help
not because you are pampered wimp but you DO NEED HELP.

I wonder what would be a good way to start getting to know your neighbours?
Some local playgrounds, community centers? I have no idea, yikes, maybe other peeps will have better ideas,
- help, please peeps!

Good luck on your Botox! when will you know if it is working?

Risa

I think the Botox is doing its thing. I just have been doing too much and too much in the heat. We went to the park for an hour today and I was drenched. I have to take it a little slower than i have been. I think a lot of times I overcompensate as a parent and a person BECAUSE I have these headaches.

I know the laundry and vacuuming and cleaning can wait, but too often I have let it go when I did feel good and then got shut down for days with a migraine. I try so hard to keep ahead, and mostly I can do good. Unfortunately this leaves little time for me. I often wish I could wave a little wand and 'poof' my house was clean and dinner was ready.

I thought things would be easier with the hubby at home, while he was job hunting, but they weren't! My schedule was so screwed up! I am soooo glad he has started his job. I didn't realize how accustomed I had become to even having this (nap time) free time to myself. With him here I didn't have even a minute to myself!! and I had to compete for the bathroom!!!! I am hoping my stress level goes down because I am getting back in my mode!

thanks everyonw for listening to my rants and for the support and ideas. I really appreciate it!

Being in a new town is difficult. Don't mean to be Miss Gloomy But that's my mind set today. I've been in our small town 28 years, and I'm STILL an outsider. And I married a man who was born and raised here!

But, that doesn't mean I don't have friends. There's lots of us outsiders.

Definietly go for the 11-12 year olds for help. You can feel comfortable knowing that you are in the house, albeit laying down, and the young pups can use up their energy to entertain the babe.

The best kid I ever had was a 12year boy who had little brothers. When he got older he watched my boys when we weren't home. I'd come home and my house was cleaner than when I left.

Yes, our best laid plans, right? I planned on being here one year, then going to the Pacific Northwest or East Coast. 28 years later I sit in a cornfield in the Midwest. So much for planning!!!

Steph,

Glad the botox is doing its thing. Getting back into your mode may be all you need. So glad hubby got a job. Things should start to settle down now.

Too bad you do not live in our town. I have a daughter that would love to babysit!

kimsmom

kimsmom-I dream of living near you!!! haha!!! at least I would have a friend that would understand my chaoticchronicpainfullofheadache life!! LOL

As if life could not get any better, I had to take Matt (aka the hubby) to the ER lastnight. He has a corneal abrasion and an infection in his eye. This thing looks nasty. It is all swelled up and red. Poor guy has been sitting through his orientation at the new job for three days like this now. He is embarrassed by people wondering what is wrong with him!! (lol like that is anything new for any of us!)

He is pretty miserable and says it is pretty painful. He is wondering why he is so exhausted all the time. DUH 24/7 pain kicks your butt!!! Soooooo...did I mention that ER trip was -insurance??? I will probably be paying for that for the next few years!!! Just our luck!!!

I am over being upset when this crap happens. Now I just laugh about it and go on!!! sorry to keep the rant, but I had to add this!!!

Steph, I so admire your strength! I know you are going through such a rough time. I'm pretty sure the universe is off kilter, as so many of the good people around me are suffering so much. I hope this passes for you, and all of us soon.

I really like the idea of finding a teen to help you out. This can be so great for you, for your child and for the teen. I hope you can find a trustworthy teen able to work for what you can afford.

Keep up with your awesome attitude. My heart says you will be just fine. <3