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Advice with feeling helpless

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Post  Baraka Sun 31 Oct 2010, 11:26 am

My wife suffers from chronic migraines. She gets them daily and when she is having a migaine I feel helpless. She has said that my breathing can be troublesome for her. What can I do or say that will help her? What are ways that I can show support? Please help I want to be a good partner for her.

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Post  Angela Mon 01 Nov 2010, 7:52 am

Hi Baraka

Just letting her know that you care is 100% support. "I'm sorry you are hurting" goes a long way when the world thinks we are just complaining about a stupid headache. It's so much worse.

Nothing much else but let her deal with it as it passes. Plenty of water helps some of us so maybe ask her if she wants something to drink.

You are so sweet to care.
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Post  milo Tue 02 Nov 2010, 9:20 pm

Perhaps you can try not to breath at all????? lol No but really, how sweet that you are looking for wasy to be helpful. I think what I need the most when I have my migraines is decreased stimuli. I can handle the TV being on, but if the washer or dryer is on as well it hurts my head. Same goes with running water or any other stimuli. I hate it but I can't help it.
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Post  Topix Thu 04 Nov 2010, 7:27 am

Your caring about what to do and what not to do is alreay a HUGE thing. It means that you've understood how bad and disabling migraine can be.
Migraine sufferers become IMPOSSIBLE during an attack. Our mood can turn from happy and carefree to depressed and annoyed in few minutes. Unfortunately, we can't control it - It's due to chemical changes. We realize that we're annoying and feel guilty for this but can't help it....

Any minor stimulus becomes horrible: noises, smells, light, movements...we can't help to whine but this does not mean that we expect that others must do something. Often, the best thing that the others can do is just bear in silence and do nothing.



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