Crying for my husband

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Crying for my husband

Post  Paradox on Mon 02 May 2011, 10:46 am

I want to try and keep this veiled out of privacy but I am so bothered by it. My hubby is a blue collar worker by trade, but his plant shut down and went overseas.

He was offered a job, out of the blue, in a profession he has no training for. A profession that deals with death. He was afraid to take the job, he was afraid of death. But, there were hundreds in our community looking for work and he had a family to support so he bucked up and has been there eight years.

But somedays are so hard and I cry for him. This week they had to work with a 17 year old and then a three year old. He said the older child was hard the three old is really bothering him.

He came home from lunch, and I known him so well, I asked him "have you been petting her?". He said yes. He strokes the little ones hair so they are not alone. I think families would be touched if they knew there was a man, a kind gentle soul, who they don't know exists, who is trying to comfort their child in death.

I am weeping, for the child, for the family and for my husband, who doesn't have training on how do deal with this. But he goes in everyday, he's taken one sick day in eight years, to a job he hates, because he loves us so much.
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Re: Crying for my husband

Post  milo on Mon 02 May 2011, 11:54 am

What a sweet man, comforting these souls.
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Re: Crying for my husband

Post  Jewishmother on Mon 02 May 2011, 5:25 pm

What a touching post............what a wonderful man..............a rare human being...............

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Re: Crying for my husband

Post  Angela on Mon 02 May 2011, 7:50 pm

((((((((((hug to you both for your compassion))))))))))))
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Re: Crying for my husband

Post  kimsmom on Mon 02 May 2011, 9:02 pm

You have a wonderful husband. In more ways than one.
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Re: Crying for my husband

Post  Cluelesskitty on Tue 03 May 2011, 3:19 pm

Oh gosh... What an amazing human being your husband is, Charlotte.
It's rare to find such compassionate person nowadays.

I, too, am feeling for him and the stress he must carry within him from such a job.
So much death, so much grieving, and perhaps the sense of injustice of it all.

Does your husband has any way for some counselling?
Perhaps that would help him to deal with his job a bit easier.

If not, does he like to read?
The one book that truly helped me to take a step back and take life from a distance.
even if it may not be true at all,
is Sylvia Brown "The Adventures of a Psychic".
http://kobobooks.com/ebook/Adventures-of-a-Psychic/book-hKSJIYlfgkmxmOCw1If5tA/page1.html

It such a different, and unexpected take of afterlife, that it makes you want to believe it
because it soothes. IT makes sense.
It soothed me, and so I chose to believe it,
and I believe it would help your hubby a lot in his job if he liked this book as I did.

btw this is autobiography, Char, you may like it too, from this angle as well.

{{{{{big, soft hugs to your husband and you}}}}}

Risa
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Re: Crying for my husband

Post  alli on Wed 04 May 2011, 10:06 am

That is so hard... He's a good man to be so compassionate. I would want someone like that taking care of me when the time comes.

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Re: Crying for my husband

Post  LoveGia on Wed 04 May 2011, 10:09 am

Lots of hugs to you and your family. He is a very special person to not close down emotionally in that kind of profession...it's what I would have to do. What big hearts you have in your life, Char.

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Re: Crying for my husband

Post  Paradox on Thu 05 May 2011, 4:17 pm

Just an update. The boyfriend of the three olds mother was arrested on six counts of murder. The poor child had previously had a broken leg and a broken arm. She died of blunt force injuries to the head and abdomen.

Even sadder, Family Services had already been involved. Please, please, err on the side of protecting these children! In our state budget cuts have been huge. I bet that Family Services doesn't have the staff it needs for the caseloads.

The funeral was today. Hubby said it was huge. He wants to know where all those people were for that little girl when she was alive. And we realize that some probably tried to intervene, he's just feeling bitter right now.
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Re: Crying for my husband

Post  Cluelesskitty on Thu 05 May 2011, 6:54 pm

It's nauseous, really.

Like your hubby says -where were all they when it could have been prevented?
I weep for the little girl.
What horror her life must have been. What a piece of garbage who does that to a little, helpless child.

May she rest in peace now, poor little angel.

All the more thanks and appreciation to your hubby, Charlotte
for being with the girl at her last earthly moments, giving her a tender comfort which was denied her in life.

At least when she saw the last human being before her funeral, he let her experience a true loving heart.

Risa



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Re: Crying for my husband

Post  tecky on Fri 06 May 2011, 11:43 pm

That brings tears to my eyes.

Your hubby has a special gift to do what he is doing. I hope it gives him some satisfaction to know what a tremendous peace of heart the families would feel if they knew his compassion and caring for their departed ones.
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